Breathe Again

Have you wondered how it feels
When it's all over
Wondered how it feels when you just
Have to start anew
Never knowing where you're going
When you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

I just wanna breathe again
Learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little
Cry a little
Live a little more

I just wanna face the day
Forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little
Try a little more
I'll breathe again

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go
But life still moves on
With a bit of luck
It's a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don't want to live on life's replay

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn........

Farewell, My Friends......

Today marked the last day of my service at our SP's office. Although it has not been that long i.e. 1 year and 10 months, it has definitely been the most enjoyable place to work at. Sememangnya my office is just 10 minutes drive from my house, ditambah pula dengan staff yang ramah dan baik, I had so much fun working here. It was pretty sad to say goodbye to everybody. I was almost in tears when my staff and the rest of the colleagues said that they were going to miss having me around. And believe me, I will feel the same. Tepat jam 5.30 petang, I was walking towards my car with files and bags in my hands. Sedih sangat...........

This was given to me by the staff as a token of appreciation, sempena perpindahan cheq ke tempat yang baru nanti. I was so touched by this gift and I love it very much. Ia adalah ayat Qursi yang selalu kita baca dan sesuai digantung di dinding rumah. Tiada hadiah yang sebaik ayat-ayat atau surah-surah suci Al-Quran one could ask for. From the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for the lovely gift.

Semalam, staff tempat cheq bekerja telah organise satu farewell party for me. Well, it was not really a party. It was just a makan-makan thing that we always had, if one got a "surat cinta" i.e. transfer letter from HR. And of course, I got the chance to give my farewell speech (tak suka sangat..... takut emo pulak). Everything went on fine, no emo-emo...... no tears..... and no long winded speeches. And we had the following food, courtesy of party planners, Intan & Mira :




As I said earlier, I'm going to miss each and everyone at the office, especially those who were reporting direct to me. Thank you for giving me support all these years. We learned so much from each other, regardless of our seniority or superiority. To my new Head of Dept, I hope that I have given you enough guidance on the trend of business in SP and our clients. Although I've known you for less than 3 weeks, it has been a pleasure working with you. I believe that you can bring something new to the place, for better advancement and systematic working system. And not forgetting to my replacement, good luck to you. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Goodbye all....... we'll see each other again some other time.

Jalan-Jalan Jumpa Kawan

When friends got to know that I would be leaving soon, they requested to meet up for meals. For old time sake katernya. Memang betoi pun, some of them cheq tak jumpa for years. Even one of my best friends, Bad, cheq tak jumpa since the day he got married. Kalau hitung balik boleh kata dah 9 bulan. We talk on the phone regularly and email almost everyday, tapi dah lama tak bersua muka.

So yesterday I made a trip to Penang just to meet up with all of them. I tried to keep to my promise and I did. Lagipun I took a break from work for 2 days, it was about time to jejak kaki kat Penang Island yang cheq tak pi since March. The first stop was Queensbay Mall. I had nothing much to buy, so just walked around the mall to kill some time until my friends finished with their work. Perut lapar, singgah makan sikit kat kedai around the corner. (*matila.... corner ke?)


Some cafe latte with chocolate chip muffin. Gemukla cheq lepas ni. Diam tak diam cheq berjaya habiskan the delicious muffin sambil tengok gelagat orang2 Penang dan 5 batang Marlboro Lights dalam masa setengah jam. Hmmm..... that shows how much I enjoy smoking lately. Puasa dah dekat, so smoke puas2 katernya.

Habis makan, tangan terasa gatal la pulak nak swipe credit card. So shopping la apa lagi. Managed to get a few shirts and other stuff for myself. And of course la, I made a stop at my favourite part of a mall i.e. perfume counter. Hehehe... luckily my hand belum cukup gatal untuk beli another perfume. Finally, orang2 yang ditunggu buat kemunculan kat mall tu. Ronda punya ronda, we ended up at another eating spot.

*Man had mee kari. Sedap sangat nampak apa yang dia makan ni.

*nasi lemak for me. Tak mengira pagi, tengahari atau malam

*assam laksa for Bad. Dap......dap....dap....

It was fun to meet up again with good friends after so long. A lot of catching up over dinner and we also talked about future plans etc. I am going to miss this and do not know when we'll ever meet up again. Thanks Bad, Man and Zin for turning up, out of your busy schedules. We'll meet again someday, either in Penang or KL. Keep sending the emails to me everyday dan jangan delete my name na from the list?? Hehehe....

Today, I picked up my ex-colleagues from the office for lunch. We headed to Soh Tow Lane newly built foodcourt which I'd never been to. I never knew it exist in the first place. It reminded me of a foodcourt located just opposite Low Yatt Plaza at Bukit Bintang. Dulu masa cheq keja kat situ tadak la pulak tempat tu. Nak makan pun susah. La ni eating place berlambak2 la pulak kan?? The lunch was very pleasant but I didn't take any pic for this blog. Terlupa la pulak. Thank you to Wxxxxx, Gxxx xxx, Lxxx and Lxxxa for belanja-ing me lunch today. It should have been the other round. Cheq yang ajak, orang lain pulak belanja. Anyway, cheq singgah sat kat my old office, jumpa kawan2 and old bosses kat situ, peluk cium semua (hehehe..... propah saja tau.... no kissing or hugging took place.... haram) and said goodbye.

Masa atas feri nak balik ke mainland, terasa emo la pulak. Nasib baik ada Madonna and her Candy Shop accompanying me at the time. Terubat la jugak kan? The last stop was Prai. Jumpa kawan2 ofis lama kat situ. Gossip here and there. Nak balik pun hujan lebat, Allah saja yang tahu. So borak2 sampai dah tak tau apa nak borak. Yang penting I am very happy today, all of the people I met had claimed that I look slimmer now. It seems that my promise to someone that I will get slimmer by Hari Raya is following the right track. InsyaAllah, by Hari Raya, lagi la meletop. *matila statement tak hengat. In fact now, I can fit into my skinny jeans that I put aside long time ago. Hehehe.....

*alang2 dah sampai Prai, I made a stop at my favourite DVD shop and I got all these (The Happening, Sex & The City Movie, What Happens In Vegas, Hancock, You Don't Mess With The Zohan and Kylie Minogue-White Diamond Live in Sydney). It completes my day :)

The Letter

The letter was finally here last friday. I'll be officially working in KL early next month. Benci tau, tak dan nak tunggu raya ibarat kater. But I'll be taking some unrecorded leave just to sort out a few things here and also in KL before I start working. Ye la kan, nak kemas rumah, cover mattresses, simpan apa yang patut, buang apa yang patut, terminate ASTRO's subscription, bayar bil api air etc. Leceh betul kan? I hate moving.

Having said that, my primary concern right now is my dad. Who is going to look after his welfare? Who's going to take him to clinic/hospital if he gets sicks at 4 o'clock in the morning? What happens if his prostate swells again? And knowing that my two sis are in the waiting list for Haji this year, that worries me a lot. Makan minum dia, terurus ke nanti? Thinking about all these, brings tears to me eyes.

I was scared of his reaction when I broke the news to him about my transfer. Surprisingly, he didn't say much about this. He wants me to go...... work comes first katernya. I hope other siblings can look after him better than me. Tak de la lagi anak lelakinya yang nak melalak dalam bilik hari2 dan jadi teman dia watching TV at night. Since my mom passed away, I became closer to him. I hate to leave him here. I'm sure after this, he will make frequent trips to my brother's place at Subang Jaya :)

I have not decided where to stay in KL, although friends have made offers to arrange something for me. I am very thankful to them, even though I may not be close to some of them. Sifat prihatin mereka amatlah dihargai. My mind is not there yet, and I have a lot of other things to settle here. I'm sure I'll work it out somehow, even though I may end up at hotels for the first few days. I'll be fine..... I have friends, relatives and a brother there.

Esok cheq cuti for two days. Bukan tujuan untuk mengundi di Permatang Pauh, tapi to meet up with my close friends and ex-colleagues in Penang. Dah nak pindah ni kan, nak bid farewell la. It is not going to be a one or two month attachment, but a permanent one. The only time when I can see all of them is during weekdays where everybody should be in the office. So you all semua kat Penang/Prai tu..... cepat bentang carpet merah...!!!

Melawan Kesepian

Apapun yang terjadi
Berjalanlah tanpa henti
Air mata tertahan
Waktu untuk dijatuhkan

Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apa pun ini
Pelajaran yang bererti

Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan merubah apa pun
Semoga mampu ku lawan
Kesepianku............

Tangs Uols..........

When i came to the office this morning, there was an email from one of my closest friends and the most poetic one, Zin. It was very sweet of him to write a short poem for me, as a gift nak berhijrah ke KL ni. Haiyo.... terharu sangat. So, I decided to post it in my blog.

To Zin, thank you very much for the poem and warm wishes. I am going to miss you and your little goodie bags you always carry around. Tak dak la lagi orang nak mai rumah cheq, bawak bag sampai 10 dan kemas barang2 dan masuk balik ke dalam bag2 tu. Hehehe.... that was fun watching you mengemas barang sendiri kat rumah orang. And to all of my friends, especially Gossip Gang in our daily email chain, thank you for standing by me in good and bad times. Appreciate your supports and advice, even though sometimes I do not follow what you guys advise me to do. Thank you for the wishes. It's not a goodbye, we'll see each other again.

Zin (hehehe......... *matila)

SELAMAT BERHIJRAH XXX SXXXXX

wajah wajah kamu

ukir senyum di wajahku

semua teristimewa

terima tulus kasih

tak terucap

sapa aku di jalanan

andai langit kita bertemu

bekalkan aku rindu

Buat ikat persahabatan.

by : Zin

A New Chapter, A New Beginning

Hi bloggers.....!! I'm back and I'm writing again. After all, I have more time to myself now. I quit the last round and I did what I said I was going to do. And since now I'm about to enter a new phase of my life, I find myself writing again.

Although I may be the unluckiest person in relationships, I am not giving up. Some people may say if you love a person that much, let the person go. To me a relationship is not established overnight. Love is not nurtured in a day. A true friendship lasts forever. I have one true love and I still have faith in it. I'm keeping it that way. InsyaAllah, someday somehow our paths will cross again.

Last 2 weeks, my big bosses from KL came down to visit us. Biasala kalau dah turun tu, macam2 la tak puas hati. Ada saja nak komen on our place. It is very seldom for them to come down for a visit. Bila datang tu bolehla tengok sikit our working condition yang teruk tu. Anyway, we had a short discussion between Hajah XXXXX, Cxxxxx and me. After all, I had been running the place for the whole 2 months on my own. Only a day after that, my new Head reported for duty. Apparently, the two bosses were impressed with my knowledge, experience and capabilities and they offered me an opportunity to venture into new things. But I had to be in either Kuala Terengganu or Kuala Lumpur. Given a choice between these two places, I would rather choose KL. Well, I'm not really keen to go to KT... no offense to orang pantai timur ye?? Cheq pun lahir kat situ jugak.

Well, it was not confirmed until last Monday. My new Head suddenly called me up at 9 pm to inform me to get ready for KL. OMG....... it finally came true. I am very reluctant to leave Kedah. I've been working in northern region for my entire career life and now cheq nak mencuba nasib di ibunegara pulak. Nervous jugak. But I know I am stronger than that. I'll be fine..... a new day has come.